Wednesday, August 26, 2009

UNIT 3: BADASS PROFESSIONS. Lesson #13: Doctor/Ninja

Alright chumps! Time's up lets do this. So you've come a long way since orientation. Now its time to get into some advanced work. Today we are going to start our BADASS PROFESSIONS unit. Up until now you have been learning who to emulate on your quest to become totally awesome. But today I am going to give you a new perspective, some direct paths to awesomeness via a specific profession.

And of course being max humble, I decided to start with the best one: Medical Doctor/Ninja. As far as I can tell this profession rules everyone's face, and kicks cats over highway bridges. Watch out! Because as if being a doctor wasn't badass enough (it is), this double profession includes totally awesome aspects of both.

Now, I can't NOT give credit where credit is due. Anyone who wants to read about a licenced physician/to kill dude, check this out: Doctor McNinja! HOLY CRAP!

Now, I am sure there are all sorts of reasons from that site that will explain why McNinja MD is totally awesome himself, but I want to explain with a broader perspective why the profession itself owns.

1) You're a Ninja. Ninjas are totally freaking sweet. If you aren't familiar with Ninjas, you probably suck a lot and should go here to get educated: NINJAS RULE!

2) You're a Doctor. Highly trained, you know how to patch up wounds, sever limbs, and you know why it hurts in your stomach when you get kicked in the nuts. You went to Med School, thats four years of education so intense that it adds an extra 2 letters to the end of your name and entitles you to prescribe kickass sounding drugs like hydrochlorothiazide. You can't even pronounce it and these guys are dealing it!

3) You are max valuable when the zombies come. And they are coming. Believe it. *shivers*

4) Surgeries you perform are with a Katana. Or, if its orthopedic, a no-dachi.

5) Throwing stars cure what ails you.

6) If a patient isn't compliant, you KILL THEM IN THEIR SLEEP!? What? Don't want to change your diet and lose some weight to control your blood sugars, well, you're probably not going to wake up tomorrow because I will have poisoned you in the night.

7) Babes love doctors AND ninjas. I know math, and that = double babes.

With that kind of incentive, who WOULDN'T want to be a Doctor/Ninja? I'll tell you who, nobody who's totally awesome. I have already gotten my medical degree, now I am working towards my apprenticeship in ninjistu. I can already kick most people right in the face, if I am staning on a chair or low table.

Well, really, there doesn't need to be any more explanation. If you feel like you aren't up to speed on this topic you've got more suck than hoover on overload and you're flippin hopeless.


Doc Awesome

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