What has it been? FOUR YEARS since I blogged last? Yeah, thats about right. I ditched you LOSERS. I was busy. Busy with ninja stuff. No really, I've spent some time learning Kung Fu. Which while not strictly "ninja" stuff is actually pretty flippin' awesome. Can I do this:
(Pictured: Sweet Kung Fu move I can't do)
No, of course not. Thats ridiculous. I'm awesome, not a Kung Fu god. But I WILL be someday. And then I'll be doing this move while flying through the air at 60mph, into someone's FACE. Bet on it.
So what else have I been doing? Some doctor stuff. Its true. And some Dad stuff. I have a kid now. He's not awesome yet, but he's getting there. Try to remember only half of his genetics are mine, so he's got a mountain to climb before he's as awesome as me. So far he's into the alphabet, dinosaurs, and murder machines. Like I said, the kid is on his way.
(Pictured: Murder Machine)
I also moved. That sucked. If I ever start a blog on things that are NOT awesome moving would be on there. Have you ever lifted an entire fridge over your head while carrying a 4 year old in your off arm? Because I have. Maybe. That might not be strictly accurate. But it IS strictly awesome.
So today's lesson is how to restart a How To Be Awesome Blog. Basically here is how it worked for me. Some stupid asshat posted a comment on my Mark Wahlberg section about how Mark Wahlberg sucked. Well EFF YOU buddy! I don't need your shitty comment on my blog. So basically, it was indignation and stubbornness that got me to this point. I had totally forgotten about teaching you nyerds all this awesome stuff because I was busy doing even more awesome stuff. But then some butt bucket has to have an opinion different than mine. And I get that everyone is entitled to their shitty opinion, even if it is wrong. But keep it to yourself. Wahlberg is dope af. He even beat up a Transformer, or something. I'm sure it wasn't Grimlock. It was probably one of the shitty ones like Bumblebee. But still.
Anyway. I have shit to do. So I am going to be lazy and post some awesome pictures. Maybe I'll post again before another 4 years is up. MAYBE I WON'T. You'll have to stay tuned to find out.
(Pictured: Something that actually happened)
One of those people riding that T-Rex is Mark Wahlberg. Check wikipedia, assholes.
(Pictured: The nanny from "The Jetsons" wailing on a guitar and kicking ass)
Balls to the Whalls!