Friday, October 21, 2016

LESSON #22 - How to restart a FLIPPIN' blog!

What has it been?  FOUR YEARS since I blogged last?  Yeah, thats about right.  I ditched you LOSERS.  I was busy.  Busy with ninja stuff.  No really, I've spent some time learning Kung Fu.  Which while not strictly "ninja" stuff is actually pretty flippin' awesome.  Can I do this:

(Pictured: Sweet Kung Fu move I can't do)

No, of course not.  Thats ridiculous.  I'm awesome, not a Kung Fu god.  But I WILL be someday.  And then I'll be doing this move while flying through the air at 60mph, into someone's FACE.  Bet on it.

So what else have I been doing?  Some doctor stuff.  Its true.  And some Dad stuff.  I have a kid now.  He's not awesome yet, but he's getting there.  Try to remember only half of his genetics are mine, so he's got a mountain to climb before he's as awesome as me.  So far he's into the alphabet, dinosaurs, and murder machines.  Like I said, the kid is on his way.

(Pictured: Murder Machine)

I also moved.  That sucked.  If I ever start a blog on things that are NOT awesome moving would be on there.  Have you ever lifted an entire fridge over your head while carrying a 4 year old in your off arm?   Because I have.  Maybe.  That might not be strictly accurate.  But it IS strictly awesome.

So today's lesson is how to restart a How To Be Awesome Blog.  Basically here is how it worked for me. Some stupid asshat posted a comment on my Mark Wahlberg section about how Mark Wahlberg sucked.  Well EFF YOU buddy!  I don't need your shitty comment on my blog.  So basically, it was indignation and stubbornness that got me to this point.  I had totally forgotten about teaching you nyerds all this awesome stuff because I was busy doing even more awesome stuff.  But then some butt bucket has to have an opinion different than mine.  And I get that everyone is entitled to their shitty opinion, even if it is wrong.  But keep it to yourself.  Wahlberg is dope af.  He even beat up a Transformer, or something.  I'm sure it wasn't Grimlock.  It was probably one of the shitty ones like Bumblebee.  But still.

Anyway.  I have shit to do.  So I am going to be lazy and post some awesome pictures.  Maybe I'll post again before another 4 years is up.  MAYBE I WON'T.  You'll have to stay tuned to find out.

(Pictured: Something that actually happened)

One of those people riding that T-Rex is Mark Wahlberg.  Check wikipedia, assholes.

(Pictured: The nanny from "The Jetsons" wailing on a guitar and kicking ass)

Balls to the Whalls!

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